Coaching Articles

New Year, New Self Esteem and those New Year Resolutions!

People talk about self-esteem; usually in the context of the lack of it. Admitting to feeling a lack of self-esteem can feel like admitting to feeling broken or needing to be fixed in some way. The reality is that often apparently confident people, whether they be famous, wealthy, successful, attractive or thin can seem perfect, but they can still suffer from a low self-esteem.

So what is it? Well, it is the value we place on ourselves, it is a measure of our self worth and this is interdependent of how outwardly confidence we seem. In a world full of messages and images of perfection, we often feel under pressure and compare ourselves to these ideals.

Low self-esteem can impact in all aspects of our life. We may short change ourselves and struggle to stick to what we feel we want in life. It could be an underlying reason for not seeing through those New Year resolutions.

How can you recognise low self-esteem in yourself? Try this simple exercise, ask yourself "Who you are?" by composing a list of 20 statements about your personal attributes, the first ten starting with "I am" and the second ten with "I am not". Examples could be " I am honest", I am shy in groups", "I am not good at standing up for myself", "I am not inconsiderate". If you have more than 5 negative statements across all 20, then your self-esteem has a tendency to falter.

Many people with a lack of self-esteem believe either consciously or unconsciously that they are less important, either at certain times or all of the time. These beliefs can come from a range of experiences amassed throughout our lives. We have probably sustained these beliefs by finding all sorts of evidence to support them. The question is do these beliefs still serve us? The answer is usually no.

Living with a lack of self-esteem can bring some advantages. It can bring an inbuilt excuse for not living our lives as fully as we could. Even though we may not enjoy being in a place of low self-esteem, it can feel "safe" and we get used to short changing ourselves.

One of the most powerful ways or overcoming self-esteem is to take a risk. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? This may feel overwhelming, but if you choose to change and take some action in line with this, you will see some benefits and feel better about yourself.

The reality is that we are all unique and important individuals and we all have a purpose and hence a worth.

Sam Greenley is a Cambridge based Life Coach and Cambridge Diet Counsellor from Daydreamzzz and specialises in facilitating people to value their worth and live their lives more fully.

Sam will also be holding a free to enter exhibition for the public to drop in and explore coaching. There will be information on being coached, training in coaching and information in coach related topics. This exhibition will be held on Saturday 19th Jan 2008. Full details of this exhibition can be found at www.daydreamzzz-coaching.co.uk

Sam can be contacted on 01223 520124 or info@daydreamzzz-coaching.co.uk